sush hates cell phones

so it wasn't even noon and these are the events that have ensued thus far:

1.) i woke up early and couldn't fall back asleep. sush was cuddled at a very aesthetically pleasing angle in my armpit so i laid in bed for a while, not wanting to rouse him. when the blinds are down and the pigeons fly through the alley, they make really amazing shadows that i see on the blinds... i would like to take a picture of this, but the pigeons aren't very reliable subjects.

2.) miss kat woke up and promptly puked in her trash can. i did not know she was doing this, so as she was exiting the front door i asked her if she was doing laundry for some reason... i think it's cuz i have a shirt that needs washing. so she told me she'd puked and i fealt stupid for asking her about the laundry.

3.) i went into the kitchen to make myself a bagel. i put the bagel in the microwave (not evil) to thaw it. as i placed it in the toaster (pure evil) i said to myself 'now megan, don't walk away and forget about this bagel because you know what happens when you forget about things in the toaster.' so i go into my room and sit down in front of my computer and decide that now is the time to make myself a photoshop droplet! so i basically completely forget abot the bagel. that is, until the smell of 'bagel' wafts into my room, and i yell 'fuck!' and run into the kitchen, continuing to yell 'fuck' through the smoke that is now burning my eyes. as i pass kat's door i hear her say 'miss meg?' thank god our fire alarrms work, and by thank god i mean thank god they didn't start making that really irritating beeping noise to warn us of our imminent death!!!

because the rule we've learned about the toaster is 'if you can smell it, it's probably burned.' (same rule applies to the poop box: if you can smell it, it probably needs to be scooped) so the good bagel smell was followed by a very foul bagel smell and a whole hell of a lot of smoke. i open the toaster and there are two small flaming brickettes inside. we don't have a fire extinguisher, so i do the first thing that comes to mind: blow. note: this is not the first time i have had to do this. we open all the windows and attempt to air out the smoke. we then proceed to remove the 'bagel' from the toaster. it is making noises and is really silly looking, so of course we find it necessary to photograph it for posterity's sake. kat declares that we will now end any bad story with the words 'and then meg lit a bagel on fire'. we will start a bagel/english muffin photo graveyard and put pictures up on the wall with little photoshopped halos on them. we giggle and continue to pose with bagel. RIP blueberry bagel...

4.) several minutes later, kat returned to the bathroom to throw up again. this time, she is also exploding from her other end as well. i think i'm going to start putting pepto bismol in all of her foods. i think there is someone, somewhere floating on a cloud that does not want her to graduate. so we're gonna take that little fucker and put him in the toaster and then i'm gonna go make myself a few photoshop droplets.
MWOOOHAHAHAHAHA!!!

and this all happened before noon.