360° with this shit

it's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, and i'm feelin good

go kat go comm design woooooo! you can do it!!! and remember: uncle carlo awaits! : )

today in vis comm, this guy presented to us and he was really imspiring. he made me feel like there just might be a place for me in the design world... he kind of looked like a shorter, slightly stouter version of george cloony. he talked a lot about rejecting stereotypes and his refusal to fit into any one box. he said when someone applies for a job at his design firm, before he even looks at their book, he sits down with them for an hour or so and so he can assess them as a person first. he also said the most important things he looks for in a designer are emotion & collaboration. i got your emotion right here, bitches! i'd also like to think that the d.o. has prepared me to work in just about any collaborative situation imaginable.

tuesday in existentialism, mooney talked about nietzsche's concept of lifes stages as camel>lion>child. the camel being the stage where you bear life and other's burdons, the lion where you roar against 'thou shalt' and the child being innosence and exploration. leyla said i cycle through those on a weekly basis. seems more like daily at this point... lion roar! (mrrow)

lightworks is going to pay me to tutor some professor on how to use his digital camera for 10 bucks an hour. woo hoo! i get to show him how to use a histogram and some basic photoshop work which i'm really excited for. i like teaching, and i'd like to think i make a pretty good teacher (most of the time).

tomorrow i'm going to light a water bottle on fire to demonstrate 'plastic in action' for my plastics class. don't ask me what it means, i just want to see what happens when i burn a water bottle in the middle of the comm art parking lot.

jeff stopped by today to talk about my upcoming photo project which i'm super excited/super nervous for. we're going to be shooting friday around noon and it's going to involve lots of lighting which i've never done before (hence why jeff is helping). i'm also going to need to sew me some chicken skin thursday night... hehe. kat said for a vegetarian that's pretty die hard.

the hardest thing to do is find somebody who believes in you

this weekend, loller and i rented 'you and me and everyone we know'. it was a mix of rediculously awesome and kind of creepy and a lot of other things that aren't worth trying to explain. suffice to say it's how we connect with each other and interact. a must rent, i would say. the movie made me think about a lot of things and had a lot of really interesting dialogue.


most of the time i feel like this:

I don't want to have to do this living.
I just walk around.
I want to be swept off my feet, you know?
I am prepared for amazing things to happen.

I can handle it.


and some days, like today, i feel more like this:

Fuck!
Fuck you! Fuck me!
Fuck old people!
Fuck children!


Fuck peace!





Fuck.







the past few days have left me feeling exhausted...

and it won't stop raining

one percentile of my communication

sometimes my internet works like dialup. that makes me sad because it is not dialup. is dialup one word or two?

i want to know what my cat is thinking. stream of conciousness style. like if you have no 'words' to identify the world then how do you identify things? through feelings? i've been trying to figure this one out since i was a kid. and why do cats have wiskers on their foreheads? would you call those eyebrows? i heard an artist speak on wednesday about how evolution will make humans have smaller eyes because we won't need to depend on them as much for survival as we have in the past and we'll have really large foreheads to hold excesses of information. unfortunately knowledge does not equal wisdom.

sometimes when i look my cat in the eye he stares back at me, in my eyes. but i dont' really feel the same energy as i do when i look at another person in the eyes. which brings me to my next point. why don't we like to look each other in the eye? and what is the strange feeling that we get when we actually make that connection? is it just some social construction that tells us that we shouldn't look too long into each other's eyes because it means something specific or is there some sort of exchange of some sort that we don't really understand... i'm confused. maybe i'll ask mooney. he seems to be able to shed light on these sorts of situations. he was talking about how kids are always experimenting by doing things like running into couches and jumping and spinning and stuff. they seem to be constantly testing the world to see how far they can go. it seems to be very spontaneous though. where's the transition where we lose that kind of wonderment and learn to play by the rules?

i realize this all sounds kind of crazy. stream of conciousness...

it's been grey and/or rainy for over a week i think. i would like to see the sun sometime soon. unfortunately, when i checked the weather there was some sort of horizontal rain/wind like icon i've never seen before on a weather forecast. whatever it means it can't be good and does not in any way, shape, or form resemble any icon i've ever seen represent sunshine. unfortunately.

tomorrow morning there will be the little gem and eggs and pancakes with bacon on top.

nina simone rocks my world : oh lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

i want to be a graphic designer but i also like to make cool looking things which i'm supposed to reject as a designer. more confusion.

obeying stop signs and curing diseases

wipe your feet really good on the rhythm rug

yesterday i started working at the ski shop. it's pretty boring considering all i do is stand around but i am getting paid $6 and hour to do my standing. better than nothing i guess.

today is very grey and i don't like this weather one bit. this is the view from my bedroom window. stunning, isn't it?

best buy still has my ipod and i miss it quite a lot. sad, but true.

john stewart is definately my new god. http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=politicalhumor&zu=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ifilm.com%2Fifilmdetail%2F2652831

this week we have thursday off which means a nice long thursday to sunday weekend. hooray! i'm going to be going to philly with leyla to her nephew's b-day party and then we're going to stop in at my home to get some delicious apple cider. my favorite part of fall is the ritter's apple cider. best cider in the world, bar none.

apparently there was no arrested development last night. i am having no idea why.

speaking of having no idea, i am missing one anne kenady in my life. speaking of anne kenady, i have no idea what i want to do with my life when i get out of here. newspaper? graphic design? teach for america? art direction? small firm? east coast/west coast? certainly not advertising, that's for damn sure. i guess the scariest part is that i may have to go somewhere by myself. i don't think i like the sound of that idea at all... the future is looking kind of uncertain and i'm trying to ignore it for now.

and lastly, yesterday morning i woke up from a dream where i was locked in my room and screaming my head off. it was kind of scary and not a cool way to start the day off at all. i wonder what my subconcious is trying to tell me...

what sarah said

And it came to me then that every plan
Is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
That I’ve already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose
Than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself

‘Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes ‘round and everyone lift their heads
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said
That love is watching someone die

So who’s gonna watch you die?

this is not about love, cuz i am not in love

i had digital photo this morning with yasser which was awesome as usual. he tried to say organism and it came out as orgasm. how freudian of him. our next assignment is 'altered reality' and i'm super stoked. he wants us to shoot something and alter it digitally which means i get to put my digital rebuilding skillz i learned at marke this summer to use in something other than moving zippers on products or changing stupid backgrounds for nordstrom products. hooray!

today i got in a fight with my mom over a bunch of crap that turned out to be bigger to me than i'd originally thought. she's off on some cruise with my aunts so i won't talk to her for a while. our relationship has turned to crap once again...

i got the new fiona apple album yesterday and i'm stoked as she has not put out an album since i was in high school. hooray X2!

tonight i have to finish my picture frame assignment and get all my ads printed out. i'm stoked to see what they look like when i hang them all up together on the wall.

but then the dove of hope began his downward slope

i find this highly disturbing

everybody knows about mississippi goddamn

today kat showed me a very disturbing image of a pig pushing a shopping cart filled with port products while wearing a chef's hat that says pork on it. it reminded me of this picture. quali-tay.

odd events/thoughts for the day:

leyla: never mix sorority girls with art. all you end up with is plastic shoe sculptures and tri-delt bracelets

a large man in a coffee shop singing 'my country tis of thee' very off key, and very loudly

loller grabs sush's tail and points it at him and states:
sush, i have a tail for you...
there was a little sush, not long ago who liked to sit on laps and make their owner warm... he would just sit and shed his fur, and wait for people to love him which his softness did incur.

note to self: must make cat (not to be confused with kat) stop eating the apartment nature.

When God told Abraham to kill the one thing that meant the most to him in life, it baffles me how he could just say “Well ok G.O.D., whatever you say. You da man.” If some deity descended from the heavens and told me to kill my best friend, no matter how many big, dusty ol’ books I’d read on his/her wrath/all knowingness, I’d promptly tell him/her to go fuck themselves in the not-so-kindest way possible.

waiting around to die

sometimes i don't know where
this dirty road is taking me
sometimes i can't even see the reason why
i guess i keep a-gamblin
lots of booze and lots of ramblin
it's easier than just waiting around to die

wee!

what we need is love

it's sunny outside and that's nice. i have work to do but don't really feel like doing it which isn't so nice. i also have a big pile of clothes to put away which i don't feel like doing. what do i feel like doing, you ask? not really sure. whatever suits me at the moment i guess which isn't anything i really need to be doing... i feel like this a lot lately

went to see the constant gardner last night with leyla at westcott which was pretty awesome. lesson learned: you have the power to change every life you encounter. do i believe that? i hope so. i also learned that uncovering the truth will get you assassinated by the british government.

i have a paper to write for mooney in response to fear & trembling and i still don't really know what the hell i should be writing about. mooney rocks my world. any thoughts on infinite resignation?

went to the used bookstore yesterday and bought a book with all sorts of old school wood carvings in it. i'm looking for something to go with my tattoo idea. a woodcut plaque (plack?) or a fancy looking ribbon with the words 'i defy you, stars' on it. i want it on my forearm. mom's not gonna be too happy.

i also need to learn more about einstein. he had all sorts of crazy awesome thoughts...