ooh my darling, it's too beautiful to be

i'm tired. and relatively discouraged. i think for the first time in my life i have to exert a tremendous amount of effort to learn something and do it over and over again and i'm not used to that. i know i'm growing and learning but that doesn't make it any less exhausting

i also have some seriously nasty pains in my neck that i can't get rid of. anne and i are going to take yoga, but that doesn't start until the end of the month. no amount of stretching is going to make this go away any time soon...


my parents came out to visit this weekend. it was really cool to have them around and simultaneously very awkward. it was also very exhausting because we were constantly running around so my weekend was not very relaxing.

regina and i went out on saturday and i realized how much i miss having female friends. apparently most of my friends here are guys, and the repore is just completley different. i really like hanging out with regina. she is a kind soul.


last night as i was falling asleep i kept having this feeling that i was a little tiny person pulling the strings inside of a big shell of a person. it wasn't a good feeling.

i also keep having these thoughts as i'm trying to sleep and right as i wake that i can not shake or make go away.


very late at night
and in the morning light
nobody knows me at all

it also seems like every other day i don't know what the hell i'm doing with my life. i presume this is normal at this stage of the game, but it's getting really old really quickly. all i know is that i want to be happy and do something that i love. guess that's what most of us want though...

i do know that i want a place to live for a few years where i can have some plants, my cat & a newspaper subscription.